Living authentically in the now—the ‘isness’ of life

Alan Watts, philosopher, writer and entertainer

What is ‘isness’? In simple terms, ‘isness’ is existence.

At the heart of isness is the art of living in the present moment. Living in the ‘now’ is one of the secrets to living authentically.

Are you living your life or thinking your life?

Alan Watts, the philosopher, writer and entertainer known for his interpretation of Eastern philosophy, said,

“The mystery of life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.”

Watts reminds us to think less and embrace this reality as a unique experience. Because life is an experience, not just a concept and something to think your way through. Right?

Are you taking time to savour precious moments? Are you absorbing your experience with all your senses—seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling, resonating? Or are you thinking your way though life? Do you think that you think too much?

Less resistance means less stress

Spiritual leader, Eckhart Tolle, known for his teachings on mindfulness and presence, emphasises the transformative power of embracing "now." Tolle is quoted to have said,

“Accepting means you allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling at that moment.”

With acceptance we experience contentment. You can’t argue with what is. Well, you can, but if you do, Tolle says you will experience an emotional/mental suffering.

Acceptance doesn’t mean, you can’t accept things as they are without wanting something different. We can accept the now and want something different for our future—the ‘contrast’ can be a force of motivation. The key is to balance experiencing the very moment you are in with acceptance, as it is, with a sense of allowing, without an inner turmoil of thinking things should be different at that moment. …Get it?

Tolle reminds us to accept life as it is, and to accept our feelings as they arise, which is sometimes easier said than done.

Feeling emotion is a natural and healthy thing to do

Many of us are not taught that it’s not ok to feel our feelings. But the truth is when we do allow ourselves to feel our emotions, they can pass through us like a natural wave of energy, rather than bottle up inside us like a pressure valve, exploding uncontrolled any moment.

Get in touch Authentic State Coaching if you would like to learn how to safely feel and move through your emotions.

The isness of being your authentic self

Living an authentic life is inseparable from the concept of isness. When you fully embrace your genuine self and honour your unique journey, then you're swimming in the lush. calm sea of isness.

Isness is about accepting all your quirks, your talents, and your flaws with open, accepting and forgiving arms.

Acceptance is key. Acceptance of what is, and who and where you are. In knowing who we are, we need to get honest with ourselves.

In the words of spiritual teacher Ram Dass,

“The quieter you become, the more you can hear the symphony of ‘isness’ in your soul.”

Here we are reminded to take time to be still, to be able to hear our truth. Our bodies and spirit speak to us, not only our mind. Agree?

Wayne Dyer, the self-help author and motivational speaker, said

“Miracles come in moments. Be ready and willing.”

I believe that this is our most authentic state—when we are present and alert to the moment, rather than anxious about the future, or weighed down from the past.  In these moments, we are most switched on to our personal power.

The problem can be that most of us struggle to be present in the moment. This is because we carry the baggage or learnt or inherited pains and hurts of the past. Also, many of us haven't learned how to quieten the wild, looping mind or how to calm the restless, needy body. 

Without doing the work and learning to honour our feelings, calm the mind, shift past hurts and be still amongst the chaos, then living in the moment can be a struggle or not ever experiencing in a lifetime.

Success and isness

Mind-body healer and author, Deepak Chopra, might agree that the path to success is paved with isness. 

Chopra said,

“In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself. It will be a permanent Self, rooted in awareness and creativity. Once you have captured this, you have captured the world.”

In other words, let go, and life unfolds. Again, easier said than done right? Letting go takes tools, and practice, and often therapy or coaching. I’m a firm believer in we all must find the right path and support for ourselves. Life is not one size fits all.

Isness and the arts

The arts embrace living in the moment, with isness playing a vibrant and essential role in the life of the artist. 

Imagine chatting with Pablo Picasso, sipping on espresso in an avant-garde café in Barcelona or Paris. He'd remind you that isness is the vibrant core of artistic success.

Picasso said

“It took me four years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child.”

Picasso knew the value of living in the moment, just as children do. He embraced the spontaneity and curiosity of a child—this is where magic and truth can be found.

In the grand tapestry of life, isness is the vibrant thread that weaves success and authenticity together.  Spiritual leaders and art masters remind us that the key to success isn't a distant treasure to chase; it's a joyful embrace of the present moment. 

So, let's raise our cups to the isness, for it's in this very moment that the canvas of success and authenticity is painted, one stroke at a time. 

Sasha x

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Reach out if you would like to learn how to connect more authentically with the present moment, without limiting beliefs, emotions baggage or stress.

Sasha at Authentic State Coaching works with individuals across the world online via Zoom. Authentic State Coaching is based on the Central Coast, NSW north of Sydney, Australia.

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Releasing the past—to move forward

It is not unusual in life to experience cycles of thoughts and behaviours—that are unsatisfying, unsupportive, or even detrimental to our health and survival.

We can feel stuck, lost, deflated or frustrated in life, in our health, relationships, and in work and business.

This is a difficult place to be in, and disheartening, particularly if we have made efforts to change, without success.

We can all use a hand moving forward

Working with others gives us strength, support, tools, knowledge, guidance, and momentum.

Whether I am supporting people to move forward in life, business, or relationships—I often start with introducing people to an evidence-based technique that changes lives, called Self Directed Healing.

What is Self Directed Healing

Self Directed Healing is used in leadership training and as a therapeutic tool. It is a powerful, yet gentle complementary healing technique that impacts all levels simultaneously; the mind, body and emotions.

For many people, it works quickly. It is a process without medications or hands-on healing.

As it is a relatively new healing therapy, that combines various other healing modalities, you might not have heard of Self Directed Healing in the same way as counselling, coaching or hypnotherapy, But Self Directed Healing is radically changing lives—for the better.

Self Directed Healing give you the tools to release yourselves from past limitations, from damaging experiences, trauma. It enables people to move forward.

The process allows us to gently identify and release feelings and shift thoughts, at conscious and subconscious levels—it positively impacts the mind, body and emotions.

Self Directed Healing empowers you to reveal a greater version of yourself and opens the door to you to connecting to your most authentic state.

Self Directed Healing participants experience greater confidence, clearer thinking and decision-making, and often a sense of release and weight lighted from their body, shoulders, mind or heart space.

It also teaches people how to honour, rather than to suppress or repress their feelings—this can reduce or remove unhealthy coping strategies and other negative impacts of swallowing our feelings.

Moving Forward

Your next step depends on if you are looking for life or business support and transformation.

I am interested in learning more about your circumstances. If you’d like to schedule a call, you can learn more about what you could expect in our time together—and how you can move forward to a greater you, and a greater life.

To learn more, schedule a call here or email me at sasha@autheticstatecoaching.com

image credits: Joshua Sortino, Max Ostrozhinskiy, Yinchou Han

Adaptability, change and cooperation

We know that adaptability is crucial to maintaining and improving the world around us, and to getting along with others.

In Australia and globally, we have adapted to COVID-19. And in doing so, have decreased the severity of its impact.

Being deliberately adaptable means if something is not working for you, or us, then do it differently.

Sometimes on a personal level, we can miss the target, lose our way, struggle with others, or just can’t seem to get what we want. Some people struggle with personal adaptability more than others.

To be adaptable is to be flexible, resilient, modifiable, conformable and changeable.

This means doing something different. Read that again… adaptability means doing something different. 

This could mean anything from risking a relationship by speaking up to maintain your integrity for truth and justice.

Adaptability could mean holding back words we might commonly say in a conversation for they would be pointlessly damaging.

Adaptability could mean reviewing a current strategy that isn't getting desired results, or getting support from someone or something new.

With Darwin's survival of the fittest, adaptability wins—but science also shows us that cooperation has been absolutely vital to the evolution of humankind and other species.

Cooperation and adaptability requires listening, and taking note of feedback.

In healing and therapy we acknowledge that we can’t control others, or the world around us, but we can be the master of our own selves.

It is those who people have an ‘internal locus of control’ (that is, they take responsibility for events that happen to them, both good and bad, and focus on what they can control, and are deliberate in creating their own life), are happier and more successful.

Let me ask you, what feedback are you getting from your body, mind, or others that tells you that something needs to change?

What decision can you make, to help you adapt to this change?

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Sasha is a healer and coach supporting people to step forward into a greater version of themselves, creating a ripple effect towards a greater world.

Read more about AUTHENTIC STATE. A Greater You. A Greater World™

Looking at 'normal' with fresh eyes

Stories are a powerful way we reinforce ourselves and each other what is ‘normal’ and morals, ethics, rights, and wrongs.

Across the ages of time, mankind has reinterpreted and re-written stories and traditions. Many folk tales have been rewritten, and today sit in our bookshelves as fairy tales with the meanings quite different from originally intended. The same thing has happened with our holidays and traditions.

That’s fine. Unless we have lost something valuable in the process.

Personally, I don’t really relate to Halloween. Sure, it is fun to fancy dress, face paint, sugar rush, booze rush. But why do we do it? Why do it? Just because “it’s what we do”? Hmm…

Like a handful of others I know, I prefer to connect to what some say is the origin of Halloween, ‘Samhain’ (pronounced “SOW-in” or “SAH-win”). And in doing this, connecting to something that is more authentic for me.

Samhain can be described as an ancient Celtic tradition that was rewritten or reinterpreted by institutionalised religion.

Samhain can be said to be a time when ‘the veil between the human and spirit realms is lifted’.

Enter the dress-up; the ghouls, the ghosts and the gross! And candles in pumpkins—it is said that candles were once placed in windowsills to ward off ghosts. Samhain also points to ancient rituals connected to nature. Of fires and celebrations.

Rethinking what our traditions mean

In a world of diminishing meaning, of increased inauthenticity, and value of appearances over substance, I like to rethink what our holidays mean. And make them meaningful again.

So this Halloween, I have set time aside for reflection, connection, and not to forget… celebration.

With family, including young ones, we created our own little ceremony. We lit a candle, looked at photos and spoke of our ancestors. We thanked those who have loved us past and present for being in our life. Without them, there would be no us.

I’ve taken time out to be with nature today—to be grateful. And later will drink a splash of spirit in celebration of the beauty and cycles of nature.

In a world where society has pivoted so that many of our holidays, such as Easter, Christmas or Halloween fill the profit bank of business, rather that contentment bank of people—maybe it’s time to do a little more reinterpreting of the meanings of our holidays, at a personal level.

If traditions are not providing you with an authentic sense of comfort and belonging, maybe its time to re-examine the meaning for yourself? You can create your own traditions, with themes surrounding love, connection, gratitude, friendship or whatever brings you a sense of comfort and belonging. Inspiration is all around you.

Inspiration or creativity is sometimes about just following the thread—keep an intention in mind and follow the line to see where it leads you… and when you want to, stop. And reflect on where you have been, and where you want to go next. With a little creativity, you can write (or rewrite) the next tradition in your family.

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Image credit: White.RainForest

Are you on the ‘love-hurt’ merry-go-round?

The ‘Pain Body’

Spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle says “There are two levels to your pain: the pain that you create now, and the pain from the past that still lives on in your mind and body”. 

Most of us would say we want to live without pain. However, Eckhart suggests we have a ‘pain body’ that seeks pain. And just like the needy monsters in the series ‘Stranger Things’, this pain body wants feeding. The hunger of the ‘pain body’ is only satisfied when we experience strong negative emotional reactions.

The Emotional Merry-Go-Round

Does this sound familiar?

• Do you and your partner bicker or argue too often?

• Do you both push each other emotional buttons, and end up angry, hurt or defensive?

• Do your relationships bring out feelings of shame, unworthiness, disappointment or feelings of being unloved?

• Are you and your partner ‘finger-pointing’ to each other (pointing ‘blame’ or ‘responsibility’ of how you each feel, back to each other)?

• Have you ever stayed too long in a relationship that fired emotional triggers, or find that time and time again, you are with different people but in the same relationship, with these same arguments?

These are examples of relationships that feed the ‘pain-body’ (the hurt creature) that lives inside you.

Relationships are not supposed to be painful. Like a ‘love-hurt’ merry-go-round, sometimes we can get stuck in a cycle of ups and downs. Our relationship is great, then a something starts the arguing and hurt, before things settle down. Then another emotional trigger starts conflict and pain, before it calms down again… you get the idea.

Are You Keeping an Eye on Your Shadow Side?

Psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl Jung (1875-1961) told us we all have a ‘Shadow’ side; the unknown dark side of the personality. This hugely influential Swede believed to truly grow as a person, one must remove willful blindness to one’s own Shadow side. Jung believed that by not wanting to look at our Shadow directly, many people project them onto others; meaning that the qualities of others we struggle with in our most intimate relationships, are qualities we are not willing to acknowledge in ourselves.

That is, qualities we have not resolved in ourselves, like a lack of kindness, acceptance and love for our selves, are replicated from our external world. So for example if you haven’t 100% accepted yourself, you will attract others who will not 100% accept you; or if you are not kind to yourself, you will attract people who are not kind to you. This perspective shares a confronting and hard truth. We live in a culture of comparison, achievement, distraction and denial, so rest assured, you’re not alone here.

Your pain-body is part of your Shadow side. When we are upset reliving old emotional pain, we are feeding our pain body.

The thing is, we often point our fingers at others in blame or as the cause of our hurt. Sure, he or she may have behaved like a complete dingbat, however it’s the extent of our reaction that is significant.

The crux of the matter is that the emotion you experience in your body, in response to your relationship today, is often due to deep-set pain from your experiences of the past and your inherited emotional biology. Past experiences of fear, loss, rejection, betrayal and other hurts and trauma become the emotional ‘imprint’, from which we unconsciously seek to repeat in relationships again and again. 

You might be asking, do I really have a ‘pain-body’ that says “feed me!”, at the cost of crippling you moving forward in love, work and from being the greatest possible version of yourself? You may be asking “why would I (subconsciously) sabotage our relationships and those I love most?”. The simple answer is, because most of us don’t know we have a ‘pain-body, and we don’t know how to stop feeding the ‘pain-body’.

How to Manage Your Pain Body and Emotional Triggers

So how do we deal with the pain body?

At best, clearing the underlining, unwanted hurt (pain body) from the past, and addressing the root of the issue gets the quickest and best results. To do this you need to allow a trained healer, therapist or coach to guide you through the process. It can be a quick but profound process. Shifting the root emotional memory that has been locked in the body releases the self-limiting belief that acts like the magnet to negative behaviours.

Secondly, be mindful of ‘awareness’, ‘observation’ and ‘presence’.

1. Be aware when you are reacting to someone with feelings of hurt, anger or if you are offended, and consider it a ‘teachable moment’, what can you learn about yourself in that moment. This is difficult but not impossible.

2. Observe your feelings rather than react from your feelings.

3. Be present. Simply observe it and be the witness. Don’t judge it, be the space for it. Then gradually, its energy will decrease.

Try this as a personal experiment across the next couple of weeks and see what happens for yourself.

Self Directed Healing

At Authentic State Coaching, we are passionate about removing patterns of pain and trauma, enabling people to embrace their best self and greatest life in health, love and careers.

Through ‘Self Directed Healing’ we help people clear old triggers and dissolve the ‘pain-body’. This is like a life-hack; a quick and long-lasting remedy to your pain body. Imagine being set free from old hurts and unhealthy relationship patterns.

Read more about Self Directed Healing here.

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Image Credits: Stijn te Strake | ScottWebb