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Leadership, honesty and authenticity—inspiration from 8 visionary entrepreneurs
We are witnessing the rise of a new type of leader in our workplaces, businesses and culture. Our new visionary leaders are rejecting old ways of communicating and keeping it real.
Let's draw inspiration from some visionary entrepreneurs who have harnessed the power of honesty and authenticity.
Honesty is like the Renaissance period of art—it's an era of enlightenment and transformation.
Just like the artistic and intellectual rebirth that swept through Europe centuries ago, we're entering an era where honesty and authenticity reign supreme.
We are increasingly valuing honesty in business, culture, and relationships—including the relationship we have with ourselves, our mental health and wellbeing.
But we are living in a paradoxical world, full of contradiction and irony.
We value transparency and truthfulness, however, with the rise of new technology, AI and social media we live in an increasingly hyperreal (fake) world. Life often focuses on surface appearances, packed with illusions on what is real, true and substantial.
As we move into the depths of the 21st century, it’s important to do the work to keep grounded and be honest with ourselves amongst all the changes.
With honesty brings change in the world, and with ourselves.
It's crucial to remember that being honest with oneself is the starting point for transformation.
Recognising your strengths, weaknesses and priorities is like choosing the right colours for your canvas—it sets the tone for the entire artwork.
Being honest with others is like a mirror—reflecting your values and beliefs. Values and beliefs underpin everything in your life. From the reason you are where you are surrounded with the people and things you have, to why you experience conflict, and more. A good life coach (like Authentic State Coaching) can help you unpack your life and values. They can support you to get clear on your life values, and help you take steps to ensure your life is aligned to the things that you believe are important in this short and precious life of yours.
We are witnessing the rise of a new type of leader in our workplaces, businesses and culture. Our new visionary leaders are rejecting old ways of communicating and keeping it real.
Let's draw inspiration from some visionary entrepreneurs who have harnessed the power of honesty and authenticity.
1. Steve Jobs: The authentic innovator
The co-founder of Apple Inc. was renowned for his unwavering commitment to honesty in product design.
Jobs was unapologetically honest about his belief that great design should be simple and beautiful. This honesty with himself and his vision led to iconic products that changed the world.
2. Jessica Alba: The honest businesswoman
Actress Jessica Alba didn't just play the role of a businesswoman; she became one. With The Honest Company, she's on a mission to provide safe, eco-friendly products for families.
Her dedication to transparency and ethical business practices is a testament to her commitment to making the world a better place.
3. Simon Sinek: The why guy
Simon Sinek, famous for his "Start with Why" philosophy, emphasises the importance of honesty in business. He encourages leaders to be authentic and transparent about their purpose and values.
Sinek believes that when leaders are honest about why they do what they do, it inspires both their teams and customers, leading to sustainable success.
4. Brené Brown: The vulnerability advocate
Brené Brown, a renowned researcher and speaker, has made vulnerability her superpower. Her candid exploration of shame, vulnerability, and courage has transformed the way people connect, both personally and in business.
Brown's work is a testament to the transformative power of honesty and authenticity.
5. Warren Buffett: The honest investor
Warren Buffett, one of the most successful investors of all time, is known for his honest self-assessment. He doesn't invest in businesses he doesn't understand, and he's candid about his investment strategy.
His honesty with himself has led to a lifetime of remarkable financial success.
6. Richard Branson: The maverick entrepreneur
Richard Branson, the maverick behind the Virgin Group, is synonymous with adventure and authenticity. He's honest about his love for risk-taking and his knack for turning ideas into thriving businesses.
Branson's life is a testament to the liberating power of embracing your true self and living life to the fullest
7. Sara Blakely: The honest businesswoman
Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx, is candid about the struggles and setbacks she faced while building her empire. Her honesty about her journey has made her a relatable figure in the world of entrepreneurship.
Blakely's authenticity and humour shine through as she inspires others to embrace their imperfections and pursue their truth.
8. Anthony Bourdain: The rock 'n' roll chef
Anthony Bourdain taught us that food is more than just sustenance; it's a cultural adventure. With his laid-back charm and a knack for storytelling, Bourdain was brutally honest about the grit and glory of the restaurant industry.
His authenticity was his secret sauce, inspiring us to savour life's unfiltered flavours.
What can we learn from these trailblazers who embrace honesty and authenticity?
Be true to your ideas, even if they challenge the status quo. Honesty gives life to bold ideas, ignites innovation, and fosters deep connections.
When we are transparent about our values and vulnerabilities, it fosters connection and encourages transformation.
Recognising your strengths and weaknesses allows you to make wise choices and thrive.
Honesty in life, is the most delicious way to savour success.
So! Here’s my truth. I’m here for a greater you and a greater world! Get in touch if you’d like to explore creating a life more aligned to your own values and truth.
Sasha x
How to recognise if you are sabotaging your relationships
Some of us enter a pattern of sabotage, replaying a cycle of damage and repair in relationships. For some people, as much as they want love and intimacy, they can unconsciously sabotage their relationships for fear of getting too close.
Are you sabotaging your romantic relationships or friendships? Read more to learn to recognise if you are and what to do if you are.
Do you get involved with people that you are actually 'not really into'?
Do you say or do things that hurt the feelings of others, which causes them to emotionally step back from you?
Do you habitually let your partner down? Intending to commit to your word or promise, but too often fall flat on delivering on your promise?
Relationships can be complicated, just as people are also complex. We can contradict ourselves, and hurt those we love without knowing why.
We can promise the world to someone; to love, honour and cherish them, but then we can do and say things to sabotage the essential trust, respect and love nurtured over time.
Some of us enter a pattern of sabotage, replaying a cycle of damage and repair in relationships.
And, sometimes, our life is a series of short-lived relationships, unable to develop long-term meaningful relationships.
Relationships are not supposed to be painful. However, they can help us mature and grow emotionally and psychologically. And this growth can hurt.
Signs of a relationship self-sabotage
Everyone needs love. And we all deserve love. Unfortunately, the road to love can be full of twists, turns and potholes.
Clinging to the fear of abandonment, feelings of inadequacy, family heritage and past traumatic experiences impact our quality of relationships.
Negative thinking patterns are a magnet for relationship issues. This can create a pattern of always finding something wrong with your romantic partner, workmates, family, friends, and practically anyone who tries to establish a healthy relationship with you.
Sometimes, we need to learn and develop within ourselves before building trusting, safe, long-lasting loving relationships.
For some people, as much as they want love and intimacy, they can unconsciously sabotage their relationships for fear of getting too close.
Sometimes, the greater the emotional connection, the greater the risk of hurt due to loss. This loss could be through a separation, or even the event of death. For some people this can be associated with feelings of anxiousness that prevents them from continuing a relationship.
The roots of relationship sabotage
Developmental psychologists tell us that our upbringing has a huge impact on how we relate to others as adults.
British psychiatrist John Bowlby said "the quality of the early parent–infant attachment has lasting impacts on development, especially on later relationships"(1).
Bowlby suggests we all create internal working models of attachment styles.
Studies suggest that as adults we unconsciously seek out our attachment styles that we developed as children—unless we take action to examine and change these attachment styles throughout our life experiences.
This means that children who experience love and attention in their early years will seek out secure and stable relationships as adults. In contrast, if someone has an upbringing in which they feel unloved, unattended, or angry or confused, then as a young adult or adult, they will enter relationships in which they act with avoidance, or with resistance.
This can help explain why some people sabotage their relationships or avoid being in relationships altogether. With an insecure internal working, people can avoid forming deep relationships or experience overly anxious feelings when forming close relationships.
The fear of failure, or their false beliefs about themselves, would always compel them to turn on the negative self-talk switch. This eventually leads to the development of insecure attachments, an attachment style in which one avoids connecting emotionally to others.
With avoidance, or resistance attachment styles, we can be wary of getting too close to anyone. We can feel insecure and act out in jealousy. We can be overly dependent on our partner, not allowing them to have the breathing space that balanced, healthy relationships need.
Do you push people away (sabotaging the relationship) because the feelings of getting close make you anxious or uncomfortable?
Do you avoid authentic intimacy?
Do you feel that you are simply not lovable? Or repeatedly ask your partner, how could they love you?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might have an insecure internal working model. But please don't lose heart! The good news is that this can be changed.
Sometimes We Can All Use a Hand to Move Forward
By finding the right therapist, healer, coach or counsellor that suits your responsiveness style, you can shift limiting belief systems that create avoidance and resistance attachment styles of relationships.
A pattern of sabotaging relationships can be transformed, so that you can experience secure, long-lasting, deeply loving relationships.
You can address any feelings of insecurity, allowing for a greater sense of self-worth and authentic confidence to be developed.
You can also instigate change through bringing an awareness to your pattern of behaviour in relationships by observing your thoughts and actions.
Observe yourself without judgement. Give yourself space and permission to recognise your patterns and belief systems.
When we decide to take action to do the work on ourselves, we not only grow and evolve as a person, we also become better role models for our families and communities. We become better employees and business owners. Remember, we can all change. Our minds, bodies and hearts can relearn new truths.
Can you recognise secure, avoidance, or resistance style relationships in your life?
What is the single, next best thing you could do to support creating more meaningful relationships in your life?
Sasha
If you found this article interesting, you may like ‘Are you on the ‘love-hurt’ merry-go-round?’
This article was originally published for Natural Therapy Pages.
references:
(1) Emotions, Attachment, and Social Relationships In Life-span human development (9th ed) Carol K. Sigelman & Elizabeth A. Rider, 2017
Are your emotions holding you back?
It takes courage to step up and pay attention to our feelings and bodies, but the truth really does set us free.
In our culture, we have often been taught to suppress our feelings. To ‘toughen up’, and to ‘get on with it’. However, with the unprecedented amount of alcohol and drug abuse, domestic violence, ill health and poor mental health, obviously something is not working for us…
It takes courage to pay attention to our feelings
Feelings are incredibly powerful. They can work for us, and against us.
Think of it like; thoughts are the language of the mind, and emotions are the language of the body.
In our culture, we are often taught to suppress our feelings; to ‘toughen up’, and to ‘get on with it’.
The truth is that many of us are not taught how to connect with our emotions. Some of us are that taught it’s not ‘right’ to feel angry, hurt, disappointed or even happy. So, we can push our feelings down and to the side, and deny our inner truth.
With the unprecedented amount of alcohol and drug abuse, domestic violence, ill health and poor mental health, obviously something is not working for us.
How many times have you seen yourself or others use food, booze, distraction or any other coping strategy to ignore feelings? Pushing emotions down, so we don’t feel, might work in the short term—but these emotions continue to live in your body.
You’ve probably experienced trauma
Most of us experience some sort of trauma in our lives. Trauma is an emotional response to something such as a natural disaster or another emotionally disturbing or life-threatening event.
The Australian Psychological Society says trauma is a ‘very frightening or distressing events may result in a psychological wound or injury. This trauma can result in difficulty in coping or functioning normally’.
A pioneering researcher and expert on traumatic stress, Bessel van der Kolk, tells us how overwhelming experiences affect the brain, mind, and body awareness. Bessel van der Kolk shares how trauma can ‘get stuck’ in the body and how it can have a profound impact on the capacity for love and work.
Sure, sometimes we do need to push feelings to the side—to get on with it. For example, if you’re fighting a bush fire, or protecting yourself from violence, or coping from an accident, you may need to push emotions to the side—to do what needs to be done, at that crucial moment. But distress continues to live in the body.
Putting emotions to the side can be a coping strategy. And if you do anything year-on-year, like pushing down feelings, and you will get pretty good at it. But, just like running water filling a sink, river or glass —you can’t fill it forever, it will overflow. In some shape or form, it will spill over, potentially with some emotional or financial cost, and causing damage or more trauma.
Overflow can look like being constantly teary, or angry, any other emotion that you don’t want to feel. It can look like illness, depression, anxiety, and disconnection from others and the world around you.
Emotional healing is easier than you think
The good news is you can give your emotions a way to release, in a gentle, safe and controlled way. At Authentic State Coaching, we believe the best way to do this is to ‘heal thy self’ through self healing.
The body has an amazing capacity to heal itself. You can learn and practice listening to and honouring our emotions as they arise.
Your body talks to you. Emotions can safely come and go. Listening to our feelings can be a huge sense of relief. As the quote says, ‘the truth will set you free’. This release can be like unscrewing a pressure valve of trapped emotions from over the years.
Sometimes we might feel so disconnected, powerless or worthless we can forget that change is possible. A good place to start is to acknowledge your feelings.
I am an advocate for Self Directed Healing—a gentle, guided process that allows people to process unwanted emotions. We offer 90 minute on-to-one online sessions that guide people to release emotional pain and limiting beliefs. Learn more about Self Directed Healing here.
Quote: Jamie Kern Lima | Dog pic: Justin Jason
#healing #self healing #coaching #personalgrowth #authenticleadership
Releasing the past—to move forward
Feeling stuck, or an inability to move or progress in life is difficult and particularly disheartening when you have tried different things to move forward.
When we feel stuck, we not only fail to progress in life, we can feel unmotivated, and physically and emotionally heavy. We can experience depression, guilt, shame and isolation.
Whether I am supporting someone to move forward in life, business, or relationships—I often start by introducing a life-changing, evidence-based process to people, Self Directed Healing. This safe process works simultaneously on the mind, emotions and body—and gets results quickly…
It is not unusual in life to experience cycles of thoughts and behaviours—that are unsatisfying, unsupportive, or even detrimental to our health and survival.
We can feel stuck, lost, deflated or frustrated in life, in our health, relationships, and in work and business.
This is a difficult place to be in, and disheartening, particularly if we have made efforts to change, without success.
We can all use a hand moving forward
Working with others gives us strength, support, tools, knowledge, guidance, and momentum.
Whether I am supporting people to move forward in life, business, or relationships—I often start with introducing people to an evidence-based technique that changes lives, called Self Directed Healing.
What is Self Directed Healing
Self Directed Healing is used in leadership training and as a therapeutic tool. It is a powerful, yet gentle complementary healing technique that impacts all levels simultaneously; the mind, body and emotions.
For many people, it works quickly. It is a process without medications or hands-on healing.
As it is a relatively new healing therapy, that combines various other healing modalities, you might not have heard of Self Directed Healing in the same way as counselling, coaching or hypnotherapy, But Self Directed Healing is radically changing lives—for the better.
Self Directed Healing give you the tools to release yourselves from past limitations, from damaging experiences, trauma. It enables people to move forward.
The process allows us to gently identify and release feelings and shift thoughts, at conscious and subconscious levels—it positively impacts the mind, body and emotions.
Self Directed Healing empowers you to reveal a greater version of yourself and opens the door to you to connecting to your most authentic state.
Self Directed Healing participants experience greater confidence, clearer thinking and decision-making, and often a sense of release and weight lighted from their body, shoulders, mind or heart space.
It also teaches people how to honour, rather than to suppress or repress their feelings—this can reduce or remove unhealthy coping strategies and other negative impacts of swallowing our feelings.
Moving Forward
Your next step depends on if you are looking for life or business support and transformation.
I am interested in learning more about your circumstances. If you’d like to schedule a call, you can learn more about what you could expect in our time together—and how you can move forward to a greater you, and a greater life.
To learn more, schedule a call here or email me at sasha@autheticstatecoaching.com
image credits: Joshua Sortino, Max Ostrozhinskiy, Yinchou Han
Adaptability, change and cooperation
We know that adaptability is crucial to maintaining and improving the world around us, and to getting along with others.
In Australia and globally, we have adapted to this dreaded virus. And in doing so have decreased the severity of its impact.
Being deliberately adaptable means if something is not working for you, or us, then do it differently.
Sometimes on a personal level, we can miss the target, lose our way, struggle with others, or just can’t seem to get what we want. Some people struggle with personal adaptability more than others.
To be adaptable is to be flexible, resilient, modifiable, conformable and changeable.
This means doing something different. Now read that again, adaptability means doing something different.
We know that adaptability is crucial to maintaining and improving the world around us, and to getting along with others.
In Australia and globally, we have adapted to COVID-19. And in doing so, have decreased the severity of its impact.
Being deliberately adaptable means if something is not working for you, or us, then do it differently.
Sometimes on a personal level, we can miss the target, lose our way, struggle with others, or just can’t seem to get what we want. Some people struggle with personal adaptability more than others.
To be adaptable is to be flexible, resilient, modifiable, conformable and changeable.
This means doing something different. Read that again… adaptability means doing something different.
This could mean anything from risking a relationship by speaking up to maintain your integrity for truth and justice.
Adaptability could mean holding back words we might commonly say in a conversation for they would be pointlessly damaging.
Adaptability could mean reviewing a current strategy that isn't getting desired results, or getting support from someone or something new.
With Darwin's survival of the fittest, adaptability wins—but science also shows us that cooperation has been absolutely vital to the evolution of humankind and other species.
Cooperation and adaptability requires listening, and taking note of feedback.
In healing and therapy we acknowledge that we can’t control others, or the world around us, but we can be the master of our own selves.
It is those who people have an ‘internal locus of control’ (that is, they take responsibility for events that happen to them, both good and bad, and focus on what they can control, and are deliberate in creating their own life), are happier and more successful.
Let me ask you, what feedback are you getting from your body, mind, or others that tells you that something needs to change?
What decision can you make, to help you adapt to this change?
Sasha is a healer and coach supporting people to step forward into a greater version of themselves, creating a ripple effect towards a greater world.
Read more about AUTHENTIC STATE. A Greater You. A Greater World™
We can be heroes
This is a difficult time—and just as our ancestors have experienced famine, war and disease, and other traumas, this is our ordeal that we are experiencing together.
I don't talk much about coronavirus. There's so much chat and speculation—what I know is that people and families are struggling, to say the least.
Just as in every classic hero's journey, in mythology, and films and stories, this is our ordeal. Our road of trials.
And, just like in our film and movies and stories, our lives also take an arc, they have chapters, and themes that run through our life.
These themes, ordeals and challenges—they can be hard. This is part of the human experience. It comes with being a human.
But it is these ordeals and challenges that expand us into a better version of ourselves, that help us evolve into a better species—it changes our biology…
This is a difficult time—and just as our ancestors have experienced famine, war and disease, and other traumas, this is our ordeal, that we are experiencing together.
I don't talk much about coronavirus. There's so much chat and speculation—what I know is that people and families are struggling, to say the least.
The hero’s journey
Just as in every classic hero's journey, in mythology, and films and stories, this is our ordeal. Our road of trials.
And, just like in our films, movies and stories, our lives also take an arc. They have chapters and themes that run through our life.
These themes, ordeals and challenges—they can be hard. This is part of the human experience. It comes with being a human.
It is these ordeals and challenges that expand us into a better version of ourselves, that help us evolve into a better species—it changes our biology.
However, these challenges can also be traumatic. They can bring on anxiety or other mental illnesses. Sometimes our challenges in life can be overwhelming, and inhibit us from moving forward.
At times like these we may benefit from leaning on others.
Around 65% of people who are experiencing mental illness do not reach out for help. And the longer we leave it, the harder it can be to move back into health and wellness.
Fortunately, today the topic of mental health is starting to become as ‘normal’ as physical health.
Resistance and your authentic state
Ok. Now, let's talk about Resistance.
Resistance is a force that tends to oppose things, we often resist our own growth and change, because then we are moving toward the unknown, like character entering darkness, metaphorically or literally.
Fear has served us for centuries, but life has changed. And our brains are a little slow in adapting to our environment.
But what we know is when it comes to doing the right thing, we need to feel the fear and do it anyway. To walk into the unknown.
We may need to have the courage to know that we may have to leave old ways, habits, and sometimes people behind for our greater good. We might have to say goodbye to a part of us we love or enjoy, but isn't good for us.
The reality is, the reason why we love these hero stories, is that they resonant with us
Hero stories touch a part of us from deep within our psyche.
And I believe the truth is: We all are supposed to be our own superhero.
How? Well just as the protagonist in a film, you have more tools, knowledge and support around you than you realise.
The first step is to accept the challenge, to start the journey.
The helpful key to start the journey is to listen to your inner voice, your conscience, and observe yourself.
What is the recurring problem or resistance that you face?
Is it a need for strength, restraint, to reach out, to be more loving or kind, to find simplicity or purpose? To be more disciplined?
Is it to honour your commitments? To honour yourself? Your partner? Your body's yearning for better health?
Don’t worry. The idea is to lean into your greatest self, take small steps.
Challenges are hard. This is why sometimes we resist them. And why sometimes it is a good ideas to reach out for a little support to get through that chapter.
The superhero, YOU, always have help available. This can be through a tool, a person, or knowledge. Support is here for you.
My current challenge is to step up, and show you, and the world, my face, my thoughts, my work, my skills. And that pushes my boundaries. But I'm prepared to do it, because the end goal, or my mission, to help people and businesses to thrive, is important.
So, it’s about priorities right? It's about stopping putting things off. Stop making excuses. And to just do it.
Let’s learn from those who have lived… and regretted not living
In an article by The Guardian in 2012 an Australian nurse who worked in palliative care `questioned the elderly about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, she said that "common themes surfaced again and again."
Number one was “I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me”.
Who can relate to that? Are you listening to your true calling? Are you listening to your inner voice?
The second most common regret was, “I wish I hadn't worked so hard.” That's about priorities and mindset right? How are your priorities? Money making Mindset? Are you working harder or smarter?
The third most common regret was, “I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.”
This is a little sad. Our culture doesn't seem to value expression of feeling -- many of us aren't taught (through role modelling or otherwise) how to express, or talk about or even feel our feelings.
The work I do at Authentic State helps people to express their feelings. And to heal their emotions. And I help people find the courage to live a life true to themselves.
What is your current challenge?
Now, my question for you is: What is your current personal theme OR challenge in your life?
What is the knowing or feeling inside you telling you that you are resisting?
How can you honour your inner knowing, and step up to a greater version of yourself?
Could you use a little help moving forward?
Remember, I'm here to support people like you to cross through challenging times. I have a bag of healing and coaching tools I can share with you.
Reference: The Guardian. 2012. Top Five Regrets Of The Dying. [online] Available at: <https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying> [Accessed 25 October 2020].
Images: Hassan OUAJBIR and Brett Jordan